Sunday, March 1, 2009

"Dark, Lugubrious..."

by Silvan Carson-Goodman

"Embarrassment is a superfluous emotion. Given the choice, I would do without it. It's like fear in that respect, which is interesting considering that fear most often shows up when tied to embarrassment. Either through fear of shame or shame of fear."

The slightly round man sat down and after hearing his inspiring words I knew that I was in the right place.

I didn't want to be in the right place.

Being in the right place filled me with dark lugubrious shame. All these people looking at me, judging me with their distasteful eyes. Just by my being here they all knew what was wrong with me. Regardless of the fact that they were here for the same reason, deep down they knew that I was worse than them.

I am a lower being, something to be spit upon. Oh it all just made me feel so awful.

The slightly rounder man sitting next to the slightly round man looked at me and said:

"Harvey, would you like to share with the group?"

I reluctantly stood and said, "Hi, my name is Harvey and I'm a shameaholic."