Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"Morning News"

by Katie Waldron

Of course I had no idea. Plenty of people sit like that in this heat. Swinging your legs makes you slightly less hot, and any little bit is good… Her leg swinging did get faster and faster, but all I thought was: ‘Man, that girl has really fast legs.’"

I couldn’t see her whole face, but she was pretty--even from the side. I stared at her on the bench while everyone else stared at the empty train tracks.

A forced, comforting voice said, "The next--F--train has been delayed due to traffic ahead of us. Please be patient."

A voice in my head said, “Forget that message. You don't have much time. Talk to her."

After that, things got a little unruly and perverse in my brain and groin. I hate summer, but I like the look of it, and she wasn’t wearing much. I slid over to her so we could be on the same car at least.

Some suit looked at his watch. One would think the voice in my head telling me to talk would let me speak!

I plugged myself into some distracting music next to her and decided to look for the train, since I wouldn’t be able to hear it. It was the longest I’ve ever waited for a train.

When it finally came, she leaped up, rushed to the tracks, and jumped in front of it.

* * *

Later on, an MTA worker asked me, "Did you try to help?"

“No! I didn't even see her move! Then I looked, and…”

“Thank you for your assistance.”

I did have an instant with her, though. She did glance at me when I put my headphones in. And she was pretty. I wish I could say I saw the “light leave her eyes."

But she was alive, and then she wasn’t. She just became something else. They’d have to clean off the tracks.

Another woman, an old one who was trying to show that she was wise, said, “You’ll hear a follow up on the news.”

She was right. She was on the next morning.

It was the longest I’ve ever waited for the news.


Anonymous said...

I really, really, really, really, really liked this. I don't know why. I suppose it's the perverse love for weird suicide stories, but I really just loved it. Maybe because I think about people like that. Except I would've gotten up to talk to her, jolty speech and all.

Give Us Money -- The Blog of the Park Slope Barnes and Noble Teen Writing Workshop said...

thanks for the comment!

Anonymous said...

I got to tell you, I still think of this story. There's a lot of things that I'm embarrassed that have left my memory, but I still think about this one.

Adele Costa said...

So I'm sitting here binging on Coke Talk and she posted the blog link in your question and I don't happen to agree with her about the "writers should write w/ A game all the time," I get that when you typed in her inbox you were just asking a question not creating something, so I read your story.

I really, really liked it; you have the concise, less-is-more style that I enjoy, and the structure was really spot on. The only concrit I feel the need to give you is that there are some sentences that "tell" rather than "show," that I think w/ a bit more polish would really fit in w/ the rest of the awesome. The two glaring ones were the sentence about the "crazy groin" lol and the "plunging into distracting music."

Anyway I hope you're persuing your dream! The great thing about writing is that you don't HAVE to choose between it and a day job! Just ask JK Rowling.