"Bar Fight"
by Silvan Carson-Goodman
by Silvan Carson-Goodman
Guy: I think that he was in love with her.
Guy2: Why would you think that? It looked like just another bar fight to me.
Guy: Maybe, but didn’t you see the look in his eyes? They were so full of pleading. He was there for more than just flirting, if you ask me.
Guy2: So they had some sort of history, is what you’re saying?
Guy: Possibly, but maybe it was love at first sight. Isn’t it more interesting if he saw her from across the room early in the night and their eyes met? Then the fire in his heart grew every time he saw the twinkle of her smile or the subtle way her wrist flicked when she grabbed her beer. Until he just couldn’t stand it anymore and he had to talk to her, not knowing that her two-hundred-pound weightlifter boyfriend was waiting in the wings.
Guy2: He was probably just her ex or something.
Guy: Yeah, probably.
***
Girl: Guys.
Girl2: They are ridiculous! Getting into fights over nothing!
Girl: I know! She clearly wanted nothing to do with that guy. It all would’ve ended peacefully but her boyfriend had to step in and start a brawl over nothing.
Girl2: Well, over her.
Girl: Over nothing! I mean, what makes her so special?
Girl2: Is this about Fred?
Girl: Well he never stands up for me! The other day some guy on the subway knocked me down and Fred didn’t do a damned thing.
Girl2: Maybe he’s just not that kind of guy.
Girl: Oh every guy is that kind of guy! Is it me, am I just not worth fighting for?
Girl2: No, you’re a real catch.
Girl: Well Fred doesn’t seem to think so… you know what? I’m breaking up with him. Screw Fred!
***
Bartender: Every night, every goddamned night with this shit. And they always break something. Either a stool, or glasses, or something that leaves little pieces scattered all around that I have to clean up!
Patron: (Chuckles)
Bartender: What are you laughing at?
Patron: You’re complaining to me.
Bartender: So?
Patron: Well it usually goes the other way now doesn’t it?
Bartender: All right, you have some complaining to do, Miss?
Patron: Well, I thought I did, but after what I just saw the world seems too funny to have any problems.
Bartender: Something funny about violence to you?
Patron: Oh no. It’s just that… well, that was my ex! He was too wasted to realize that the girl he was talking to wasn’t me! (Busts out laughing)
Bartender: Every goddamned night.
Guy2: Why would you think that? It looked like just another bar fight to me.
Guy: Maybe, but didn’t you see the look in his eyes? They were so full of pleading. He was there for more than just flirting, if you ask me.
Guy2: So they had some sort of history, is what you’re saying?
Guy: Possibly, but maybe it was love at first sight. Isn’t it more interesting if he saw her from across the room early in the night and their eyes met? Then the fire in his heart grew every time he saw the twinkle of her smile or the subtle way her wrist flicked when she grabbed her beer. Until he just couldn’t stand it anymore and he had to talk to her, not knowing that her two-hundred-pound weightlifter boyfriend was waiting in the wings.
Guy2: He was probably just her ex or something.
Guy: Yeah, probably.
***
Girl: Guys.
Girl2: They are ridiculous! Getting into fights over nothing!
Girl: I know! She clearly wanted nothing to do with that guy. It all would’ve ended peacefully but her boyfriend had to step in and start a brawl over nothing.
Girl2: Well, over her.
Girl: Over nothing! I mean, what makes her so special?
Girl2: Is this about Fred?
Girl: Well he never stands up for me! The other day some guy on the subway knocked me down and Fred didn’t do a damned thing.
Girl2: Maybe he’s just not that kind of guy.
Girl: Oh every guy is that kind of guy! Is it me, am I just not worth fighting for?
Girl2: No, you’re a real catch.
Girl: Well Fred doesn’t seem to think so… you know what? I’m breaking up with him. Screw Fred!
***
Bartender: Every night, every goddamned night with this shit. And they always break something. Either a stool, or glasses, or something that leaves little pieces scattered all around that I have to clean up!
Patron: (Chuckles)
Bartender: What are you laughing at?
Patron: You’re complaining to me.
Bartender: So?
Patron: Well it usually goes the other way now doesn’t it?
Bartender: All right, you have some complaining to do, Miss?
Patron: Well, I thought I did, but after what I just saw the world seems too funny to have any problems.
Bartender: Something funny about violence to you?
Patron: Oh no. It’s just that… well, that was my ex! He was too wasted to realize that the girl he was talking to wasn’t me! (Busts out laughing)
Bartender: Every goddamned night.
